Posts

Posted on

So Xander Cage Is Back… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I blame January for this.  I went and saw xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, and the reason I went to see it is because there is nothing good out to see.  Sure, sure the awards movies are out now, but they are all playing at weird times in weird places.  That meant the only movie my wife hadn’t forbid me to see without her was xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (FYI the xXx makes it really annoying to type).

According to xXx: The return of Xander Cage there are 30,000+ satellites orbiting the Earth (in truth there are less than 3,000), so when an ‘extreme’ group of terrorists get ahold of a device that can control every one of them and force them out of the sky like giant bombs (satellites are built so that is not possible), only Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) and his ‘dope’ team can bring these bad guys to justice.

If the infuriatingly dumb premise wasn’t bad enough, everyone in this movie speaks in cliché, one liners, or bad soft core porn come-ons, and because of this none of their conversations make any sense.  It left me wondering if theses actors were even in the same room when they were filming their lines.  Thankfully this meant that most of the dialog was unintentionally funny.  Unless they were telling a joke.  In which case the jokes fell flat, or at most resulted in a groan.

The actors, with a few exceptions, for some reason really committed to this film, and I think to their detriment.  Because trying to be serious in movie like this is not going to work.  The three actors who apparently understood what kind of movie they were in were Donnie Yen, Rory McCann and Nina Dobrev.  And Nina must have rewritten all her lines because she at times was purposely funny and clever.  Donnie and Rory on the other hand just looked like they were having a good time getting paid, and they, with Nina, were easily the best part of this movie.

Now I know what you are thinking, you don’t go to a xXx movie expecting good acting and well written dialog.  You go for the action.  Well that too was a let down.  None of the action scenes made any sense, and most of them were in the movie’s trailers.  Then, the first major action scene takes forever happen, and I am going to tell you something very important: If you are standing still in a hallway and Special Forces are firing at you, you are going to get shot.  Apparently that is not the case in xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.

I expected this movie to be bad, and it did not disappoint.  Though I will say it did have some of that ‘so bad it is good charm’, and I could see getting a bunch of friends together with some popcorn and tearing this film apart MST3K style.  There is no doubt that a RiffTrax will be made for xXx: The Return of Xander Cage soon.   You should not go see xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, but if you do, bring a friend who is able to see the humor in bad cinema.

Posted on

I Am Now A Google Pixel User

I have been a long time Windows Phone/Mobile user, so it was hard for me to make the switch to something else.  In the end Verizon made the switch for me, since there are no longer any good Windows 10 Mobile devices on their network.  It was time to branch out anyway, so I am now a Google Pixel user.

There are things I love about this phone.  The fingerprint reader on the back is perfectly placed, so every time I pick up the phone it is instantly on.  The Pixel is fast and responsive.  It takes decent pictures extremely quickly, so there is no waiting around for focusing or anything like that.  Then of course there are the multitude of apps to play around with which I never had on Windows Mobile.  Thankfully Microsoft has Android versions of all my favorite Windows apps.

There are downsides as well.  It looks like a bad iPhone knockoff, but then to keep from getting sued they put a plastic square on the back, and an ugly flat plastic cover on the front.  Which is even more maddening since there are no buttons on the front of the Google Pixel.  It is all wasted space.  My other problems are just normal Android problems.  Like the fact that all the settings are not centrally located, so you have to hunt around to change something (I just want Gmail to stop making noise!!), or that Facebook and Android no longer sync photos.

In the end the speed and the apps make up for just about all of its shortcomings.  The Google Pixel is a good phone that works well.  I just miss Windows Phone’s flare and live tiles.  One thing I didn’t get to try, but I want to, is Google Daydream VR, but since I don’t have $80 to spare, that will have wait until a later date.  If you are on Verizon and want a fast phone with a good camera, the Google Pixel might be just what you are looking for.

Posted on

Go, Go Power Rangers! Check Out The Movie’s First Full Trailer!

This trailer looked better than the teaser, but I am not quite sold on it.  We finally get our first look at Rita, Zordon and Alpha 5, and they look better in motion than they did in the promotional photos, but the Ranger outfits themselves look a little too overdesigned.  Still, it is pretty crazy we live in a day and age where a serious big budget Power Rangers movie is unsurprising if not mundane.  We will see how this turns out March 24th.

Posted on

Netflix Needs More Anime!

Lately I have been watching all the anime that Netflix has to offer, and sadly that is pretty easy to do because there isn’t much, and a lot of it like Fairy Tail is going away.  Netflix has invested in a few of its own series like The Seven Deadly Sins and Knights of Sidonia which are both pretty good, but there just isn’t enough for my tastes.

I could use another service like Crunchy Roll, but their app on Xbox One is supper glitchy, and it will sometimes just stop working, so I would hate to pay them a monthly fee for something that doesn’t work all the time.  Amazon Prime has some anime, but it is poorly labeled and hard to find.  I just want my anime in a service that I am paying for, and it should be Netflix.  This post is mostly me just whining, but as a paying customer, I am right darn it!  You hear me Netflix!  Get more anime!

Posted on

Shmee Catches The Midnight Special!

Have you been thinking there have not been enough 80ish Spielbergian movies made recently?  Well apparently Jeff Nichols felt that way so he made Midnight Special.  While Midnight Special has nothing to do with a southern midnight prison train, it is very good, and it seems right at home in today’s media climate with shows like Stranger Things on the air.

I don’t wish to give away any of the plot, but it revolves around a man (Michael Shannon) trying to get his son (Jaeden Lieberher) to Tallahassee with the help of his friend (Joel Edgerton), and his son is not quite normal.  Intrigued? I hope so.

Even though Midnight Special is Sci-Fi, it is really a road trip drama, so special effects are used sparingly, but when effects are used they create more awe than if they were used all the time like in other films.  The writing is what makes this all work.  You can tell they are a family on the run, and they are doing whatever they can to get to where they are going for the sake of their son.

Dramas fall flat if the actors don’t hold up.  Thankfully this is a talented cast, and they keep this movie running.  I never doubted any of their performances for a minute.  I guess there is a reason Jeff Nichols uses the same actors over and over.

I didn’t know what to expect when I started watching Midnight Special.  I had just heard that it was good and Steven Spielberg kept being mentioned a lot.  Though to be fair this is not a straight up Spielberg copy.  It is more like someone watched a lot of Spielberg growing up, and then made their own version of something in his family Sci-Fi genre.  Anyway, what I am trying to say is that Midnight Special is a great movie, and you should watch it (even if you don’t like 80’s Spielberg movies).