Shmee.Me

April 29, 2016

Looks Like They Are Going Ahead With That Tomb Raider Movie After All…

While the internet is freaking out wondering if Alicia Vikander is physical enough to be the first lady of video games, I am just amazed that they are actually going to go ahead with this movie.

First off let me get this out of the way, Alicia Vikander (pictured above) will be fine as Lara Croft. She is an Oscar winner and very talented, and she looks very similar to the new young and athletic Lara Croft from the rebooted Tomb Raider franchise. To say that she can’t do an action movie because she has never done one is bull crap. You hear me internet! If the script is good, she will be too, but that is the problem I am having. Video game movies up till now have been terrible. Not because the source material is bad, but for some reason writers have had a hard time translating games to a non-interactive medium.

The first Tomb Raider movies staring Angalina Jolie were at best so-so, and sadly that ranks them amongst the top of the video game to movie heap. They also only did at best so-so business at the box-office. Again that sadly ranks them at the top, so why are studios so excited to jump back in? I know they are out of ideas, but I am getting sick and tired of good games getting crappy movies because picture people don’t understand the medium they are converting to the big screen, and nothing I have seen recently has proved to me that they are getting any better at it.

If there was ever a video game character that should be easy to bring to life via film it would be Lara Croft, but they are going to screw it up. They are going to go all in on some weird mystic stuff and leave out all the adventure, fun and charm. Then they are going to panic and put poor Alicia Vikander in something sexy and tight to try and cover up that their script didn’t work out. In other words we are getting another Tomb Raider movie, and I think the two we got were more than enough.

April 28, 2016April 28, 2016

47 Takes Care Of A Few Things In Italy!

Hitman‘s second location has arrived and this time you are whisked off to the fictional town of Sapienza, Italy (it is the name of a University in Rome however). There you will have to take down a scientist and his protégé, and destroy a new bioweapon. It will be all in a day’s work for the world’s greatest assassin Agent 47.

Sapienza builds on the great level design of Paris. The areas are varied, and each area creates a new wrinkle for how you are going to get in and earn your pay. It also seems like this map is a bit bigger than Paris, and considering how big the fashion show was, that is no small feat. Even better Hitman seems to load twice as fast, and a lot of the glitchiness seems to have been fixed. Plus the servers haven’t crashed once, so things are looking up for Hitman.

However, even with all the bugs they have fixed it looks like they have added one. Once you start map if you start to follow any ‘Opportunities’, the little guided events in the game, but then do something wrong so you load a game to a point before you started that ‘Opportunity’, it will not track it anymore. This is a pain since you earn ‘Mastery’ for completing ‘Opportunities’. Fortunately there are several to find, and you just have to remember to save right after you start one. It is just annoying. I hope they fix it soon.

Each level of Hitman so far has been better than the last, so this is shaping up to be the best Hitman game yet. The only thing holding it back may be value. If you are like me and are going to play through this level a few times than the $10 to pick it up makes sense. If you are only going to play it once, and you aren’t going to explore the map you could beat this in like an hour (it took me about two hours my first attempt), so it is a tougher sell. For Hitman fans this is must buy, for everyone else you may want to wait for a sale.

April 27, 2016

Nintendo Just Had The Most Boring Console Announcement Of All Time!

nintendo-screen-controller-patent — Nintendo NX Controller Patent Image

When Nintendo said they would talk more about their new console in 2016 we assumed that they meant E3. I mean that is where console launches happen. You get on a big stage with flashing lights then you show off a bunch of cool games that are ‘only possible’ on your new shiny toy. That is just how it is done. Well Nintendo went another way. They got in front of their board members and said it is launching globally March 2017. Oh and that it will get a port of the Wii U version of Zelda.

That was it. No fan fair, no lights, no nothing. Way to get the crowds excited! Worse yet they said that the console would be skipping E3 completely. The focus of their 2016 E3 would be the Wii U version of the Zelda game that no one is going to want because they are going to want the Nintendo NX version. Not to mention the date. Who in their right mind launches a console in March? Get it out there just in time for Summer when kids go outside to play? Are they worried the new Xbox will be out next Christmas so they are trying to get jump on the competition? Who knows.

Nintendo has kind of always done its own thing, and that is great, but this feels like a mistake. They should have had an E3 where they focused on Zelda like they were planning, and then just have “One more thing”ed it like Apple always does. Fans would have gone crazy. Instead now we are just wondering when we are going to get our first look at this new machine. PAX West? Probably not since they will try and push the Wii U for one last Christmas. CES? I guess that would make sense. They would pretty much get the whole show to themselves. Though my bet is they release one of those puppet YouTube videos. I do love puppets.

Regardless of what their plans are, congratulations Nintendo on the most boring and confusing console announcement in recent history!

April 26, 2016April 26, 2016

Mirror’s Edge Catalyst Beta Impressions!

Now that the Mirror’s Edge Catalyst beta is over, I thought I would give my impressions. For those of you that don’t remember 2009’s Mirror’s Edge by EA’s DICE (creators of Battlefield), Mirror’s Edge is a first person platformer about couriers who pass secret information back and forth in a future controlled by a totalitarian government which is run by giant corporations. Faith is the best of these couriers, and of course she gets caught up in a giant conspiracy.

Catalyst instead of being a sequel to that story is kind of a reboot. It sort of has the history of the first game, but at the same time it pretends it didn’t happen. It is an odd choice considering the franchise consists of only two games. Maybe the writers felt constrained or something, or they were worried not enough people would remember story of the first game. Who knows. The story isn’t that important anyway.

What is important is if the platforming/free-running/parkour elements are good, and thankfully they are. Running around the rooftops finding the best path to get from A to B is a lot of fun. There is a red guide line to show you where to go, but half of the fun is to kind of ignore it and see if you can get there faster by making some slight deviations. Honestly this game would be wonderful if it wasn’t for a few pretty major issues.

First up is the seemingly random mission failure rules. Like hey you hit that guy wrong, or you didn’t go over there first. This wouldn’t be a big deal except for the second issue: Long loading times. If you die or fail a mission the game thankfully has a great auto-save feature that puts you right back to where you need to be to try again, but if you are like me, you will die and fail a lot, and the loading times are excruciating. I just want to run and jump across a city skyline, not stare at a black screen. The other small issue I have run in to is that the game can get pretty choppy during cut-scenes.

Now this is a beta so they do have a little time to fix a few small things like the cut-scene stutter, but since the game is coming out in June, I don’t think they will be able to fix the load times. Unless this build is much older then the one they are going to ship out and they have already fixed it. I hope so.

For the people that loved the first Mirror’s Edge, Catalyst should be a welcome return. For everyone else, wait until the game comes out and see what reviewers have to say about the load times. If they have shortened them up, I think you will be in for a treat. If they are still long, you may want to wait for the game to hit the bargain bin.

April 25, 2016April 25, 2016

Between Game Of Thrones And Orphan Black The Kings Of Spring Are Back!

The Spring TV premiers have sprung, and they are back in a big way! Orphan Black seems more focused. So far it has gotten rid of a lot of random side story lines and is focusing on just one weird one: What are those worm things?!!!!! No one seems to know but I can’t wait to find out. I am hoping for micro-clones. The worm steals all the DNA it needs and then it turn in to a copy of that person! Maybe not, but this is a show about cloning, so it would seem that it would have to be cone related.

Game of Thrones is back and managed to be both shocking and not terrible. I am not sure they can keep this up. They love doing pointlessly terrible things to nice and not-so-nice people all the time, so I think this was just the calm before the storm, but I am really pulling for them. This show could use a few more good things happening. At least until the White Walkers kill everyone.

With all of fall’s shows in wrap-up/sweeps mode it is nice to have a few shows coming back on the air. They have started strong, let’s see if they can keep up their momentum!