Shmee.Me

June 29, 2015June 29, 2015

The Risks Of A Deadly Adoption!

Well you have to hand it to Lifetime, at least they were smart enough to be in on the joke. A Deadly Adoption makes fun of their cheesy melodramatic movies perfectly. Had Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig went full on farce, this movie never would have worked, but instead Ferrell and Wiig played it straight. Proving that in the right context Lifetime Original movies are funny enough on their own.

A Deadly Adoption is about a rich couple, (Ferrell and Wiig) that after a tragic dock accident at their diabetic daughter’s one year birthday party are no longer able to have kids, so when a seemingly nice young pregnant woman (Jessica Lowndes) arrives from the adoption agency they invite her in to their home for her last trimester (it is the only logical thing to do). Things get deadly, as the title promises, after that as you can assume.

This story was perfect for a spoof of Lifetime movies. The tragic accident was nothing more then a slip in to the lake, Jessica Lowndes character’s motivations didn’t make a lick of sense, and they talked about the daughter’s diabetes non-stop just in case you somehow misted it. Plus they assure you that it is all based on a true story. I assume they took it on faith that at some point a pregnant woman has fallen in a lake. I don’t know who green-lit A Deadly Adoption, but they deserve a hug.

Ferrell and Wiig play the leads with the perfect amount of over the top serious cheese. If you didn’t know who they were you may even get through A Deadly Adoption thinking it was just another Lifetime Original with some even odder than normal moments. However, just their presences in this movie makes it hysterical. It is like them being in it gives you the freedom to laugh at the craziness of this movie, and the Lifetime movie formula in general.

I am sure this movie will be replayed a lot by Lifetime, so if you missed it, do yourself a favor and watch it next time it is on, or rent it when it comes out to DVD or VOD. It is not often people are intelligent enough to make fun of themselves, but Lifetime really went for it by getting Ferrell and Co to do A Deadly Adoption for them. They actual made a Lifetime Original must watch TV by making fun of Lifetime Originals. I can only hope someone over at Hallmark was watching!

June 26, 2015June 26, 2015

Shmee Hangs Out With Birdman!

Birdman by Alejandro González Iñárritu is the most recent winner of the Oscar for Best Picture, so when my buddy asked if I wanted to watch it I almost had to say yes. Though I was not prepared for what I saw. This was the craziest movie I have watched in some time. I thought it was fitting that the soundtrack for this film was jazzy because Birdman is the film equivalent to free jazz. You are just never sure where it is going to go.

Birdman is about an actor Riggan Thomson (Michael Keaton) towards the end of his career, and he is banking everything he has on a Broadway play he is writing, directing, and staring in based on Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”. This is his last big chance at proving his worth as an actor after walking away from the mega-blockbuster superhero movie series the titular Birdman. Oh, by the way Thomson is mentally ill and the voice of Birdman taunts him and speaks to him everywhere he goes.

As you can imagine putting on a stage play is probably not the best thing for a person with mental health issues to be doing, and the people around him are not doing him any favors. They are all just nuts, and their zaniness is pushing Thomson further and further down the rabbit hole. The whole thing makes me very wary of stage productions. If this movie is to believed, it is just full of nothing but wigged out jerks. Though it makes for an ~~entertaining~~ unique movie watching experience.

The actors in Birdman were all fantastic. Edward Norton plays the egotistical method actor perfectly, Zach Galifianakis gives his most muted part in recent memory as the manager/everything else for the play with a talent I didn’t know he had, and Emma Stone as Thomson’s daughter continues her trip to the top of the Hollywood ‘A’ list with another great performance. Though it is all anchored by Michael Keaton who breaths life in to the barely sane Riggan Thomson.

The acting and the story were good, but where this movie really differentiates itself is how it was shot, or how they made it look like it was shot anyway. The movie looked like it was one long take. With the camera always zooming and panning from one scene to the next. With no clear ‘cuts’ Birdman never lets you take a moment to breath. It just keeps going. Which adds to the perceived mania of the lead character. This was quite an achievement of filming and editing by Alejandro González Iñárritu.

While I was watching Birdman the crazy just kept washing over me, and when I had finished watching it I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. Because of the one lone shot style the film it never let me take it all in. Though now that I have had time to decompress, I have to say I think I liked Birdman quite a lot, and it was good to see something different for once. Maybe I should listen to more jazz? (nope)

June 25, 2015June 25, 2015

Take A Trip On The Starship Eternal!

I know, I know, people don’t read my book reviews, but hey it has been awhile, so indulge me! Plus it just means people need to read more. Today’s book is Starship Eternal by M.R. Forbes. Another space opera, shocking! But to Forbes’ credit this was a pretty good book, and I will probably finish off the series at some point. Well unless the second book is terrible, then I won’t.

Starship Eternal has a pretty standard plot synopsis: A disgraced military officer Captain Mitchell “Ares” Williams and a ragtag group of criminals must save humanity from an unknown threat. I know you have heard that plot before, but still it ends up being a pretty solid effort, and a good read. It also has a couple of fun hooks that make it a little more original which I am not going to spoil for you, but I am just saying it is not all cliché.

The one major issue I had with this book is that is seems it is obsessed with sex. The characters are always getting down, or thinking of getting down. It kind of detracts from the greater story arc. I can understand a little thrown in here or there, but I just wish Forbes’ had toned it down a little. Other than that one little quibble the story is quite a well done space adventure.

It was good to read a decent book on the independent list from Amazon. It is safe to say I have been underwhelmed lately, so to have Starship Eternal turn out to be a well executed novel was a refreshing surprise. Starship Eternal is a fun page turner, and even better if you enjoy the space military genre. We will have to see if this is true for the next couple of books in the series. I hope so.

June 24, 2015June 24, 2015

Shmee Plays Really Old Games! Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines!

So thanks to the Steam Summer Sale I was able to pick up a game from 2004 for pretty cheap. “2004? Shouldn’t they pretty much be giving that away?” You might ask, and for any other game you would be right, but for Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines it is a different story. Fans have kept this game going far past the lifespan of any normal video game, and there are no signs of it slowing down. It has become as they call it in the gaming business ‘Evergreen’. In the movie business they might call it a cult classic.

Well what makes Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines, so special? An interesting story, cool skills, a unique setting, and choices that feel real and not just good or bad for a start. Honesty there hasn’t been a game like it before or since. When it was launched a lot of people skipped it because it was completely broken, which did the developer Troika Games in, but because of all the awesome potential in Bloodline the fans have fixed it, and added to it to make it a game that at some point should be at least be tried.

The game starts with a fun questionnaire that determines your class, and then tries to preset your skills. You can manually change it all if you want, but it is a pretty cool way to start the game, and every time I play Bloodlines I just go with it. After that you learn that you are a new vampire who has been turned at a very interesting time for the Kindred (what vampires call themselves). There is a power struggle between the houses, and you get to figure out what is going on and who you back. It is an engaging little story, and interesting to play around in. It is perfectly setup to let you explore their little vampire version of LA.

I love the skill progression in this game too. For completing objectives you get character points. These points you use to buy the aforementioned skills. The further along the skill tree you go, the more points the skills cost. There aren’t levels, so playing around with certain skills doesn’t totally screw you over it just gives you more options. Options are what makes this game so good.

My least favorite part of Bloodlines is that it seems like it was designed by a deviant thirteen year old. Everything is way overly sexualized. Luckily there are player mods to tone this down a bit, but it is still a terrible “art” (soft core) style. I understand that the world of vampires is always going to be a little sexy, but Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines goes way to far. The graphics also don’t hold up, but again luckily there are fan made textures that make the game a little less harsh on the eyes.

If you are in the need of an RPG to play because perhaps you are waiting for the price of The Witcher 3 to come down a bit, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines is a fun diversion, and a true original. One of these days they will make a sequel or something, but until then apply the fan fixes and give it a shot provided you can see past the awful art direction. Though I understand if you can’t.

June 23, 2015June 23, 2015

Orphan Black Season Three Wrap-Up!

Season three of Orphan Black was kind of odd. It seemed to go everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. It is like instead of advancing or retreating it went sideways. It was still a good season, but one I think in the long run will be mostly inconsequential. The premise of this season was to find out the origins of the clones, so I guess they figured that out, but it still feels like they are no closer to any of their other goals.

The acting of Tatiana Maslany continues to be amazing. Without her this whole show would fall apart. She makes every single clone different and unique. Tatiana better get at least an Emmy nomination this year, or I think we all should riot. Newcomer to the show Ari Millen as the Caster clones does a good job as well by playing them all on the brink of madness.

I look forward to next season of Orphan Black, but I just hope that things progress. Side stories are interesting, but they can get tiresome after awhile. Now we have to endure the long eleven month wait for season four.