Pixar’s sequel to its best movie finally comes out this summer, and I am pumped. Apparently Incredibles 2 deals with Mr. Incredible being a stay at home dad because Elastagirl is more marketable. Which is an interesting idea. Though I am guessing the family doesn’t stay on the sidelines forever. Regardless of what happens, I know where I will be this June!
Shmee Enters A Den Of Thieves!
Den of Thieves is the type of movie I expect to see dumped in January (I know it is February now, but I saw it in January!). It stars a lot of recognizable people doing pretty good work in a forgettable effort. That is not to say Den of Thieves is bad, as a matter of fact the couple of gun fights in the movie are pretty good, but it is a shame they didn’t get a script doctor to look this one over before it went in to production. Because the more you think about what happens in the Den of Thieves, the worse it gets.
Den of Thieves follows two groups: Gerard Butler group of ‘gangster’ cops, and 50 Cent’s crew of ‘honorable’ bank thieves. Sort of. Because as terrible as Gerard Butler’s cops act, they are never crooked or on the take. Meanwhile the thieves do some pretty irredeemable things, especially at the end of the movie, that destroys any honor they may have had. Which is a shame because it really muddles this movie’s message.
I am not saying all movies need a strong message, or even a message I agree with for that matter, but when a movie just kind of shrugs at you it makes the whole thing seem pretty pointless. Not to mention the more you think about the job these thieves attempt, the less it makes sense. I am not going to spoil it, but they think the job is far more clever than it is, and there is a reason no one has ever attempted it.
This movie’s saving grace is that when there is action, it is solid. The guys seem to know what they are doing and it is very intense. Unfortunately, the middle act of Den of Thieves is all setup, so it feels very long. It should have been edited down quite a bit or found the budget for another action sequence to cut in to the down time.
Den of Thieves is a movie where actors you know get paid to do capable work on screen. It is not bad, but once you see it, you will not be itching to see it again any time soon. I would hold off on watching it until it is on Amazon or Netflix, or unless you are a MoviePass subscriber like me.
Shmee Rides With 12 Strong!
Post 9-11 Afghanistan war movies generally fall in to two categories, critiques on America’s wars in the Middle East, or super patriotic action flicks. 12 Strong is definitely the latter, but it tells a compelling story about the first boots on the ground after The World Trade Center attacks, and their stunning victory. I am not sure how much of Jerry Bruckheimer’s war tale is true, but it shines a light on some of America’s recent forgotten history.
12 Strong starts on September 11th with Captain Mitch Nelson (Chris Hemsworth) settling in to his new home. The towers fall and he is in to his military base getting ready to head out. The job he and his eleven squad-mates are tasked with is aiding the Afghanistan Northern Alliance by calling in air strikes on the Taliban. They are riding horseback against heavy odds in extreme conditions, but they get the job done.
12 Strong never lets you doubt these men are going to succeed, which ruins some of the tension, but it is amazing to catch a glimpse of what they had to go through to destabilize the Taliban so soon after the attacks. It is a shame that so much of what these guys did was classified for so long, but I guess aiding a rebel group against former allies probably needed to be handled with some discretion.
They got a great group of actors for this movie: Chris Hemsworth, Michael Shannon, and Michael Peña just to name a few. They were all believable in their roles, even if Hemsworth did seem too pretty to have spent three weeks in the dessert, but this is a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, so everyone has to look great all the time.
My biggest critique of 12 Strong is that it is about thirty minutes too long. Some of the movie felt a little redundant, so they could have done some editing to make this a much tighter and better movie. Still, as it is, it is pretty enjoyable.
For a movie that was dumped in to the January wasteland of feature films. 12 Strong is a decent war movie. It is not overly stirring, and it will not make you think about the complex politics about what is going on while these guys are riding their horses against overwhelming odds, but not all films need to. Some movies, 12 Strong included, just need to show our military out there doing their job, or at least a Jerry Bruckheimer-ed super-explode-y approximation of it.
Shmee Discovers The Shape Of Water!
If you know me, or have been reading this site for a while you know that I love Guillermo del Toro‘s work, so there was no chance I was not going to see his latest film, The Shape of Water. Like almost all his movies it is visually stunning, but it also has a lot of heart to go with that visual splendor. There is no better purveyor of adult fairy tales than Mr. del Toro.
If you have heard anything about The Shape of Water than you know it is about a mute woman (Sally Hawkins) who falls in love with a fish-man/monster (Doug Jones) in a secret government lab, and for most movies that would be enough, but there are so many little things that go along with the main plot that fill in this film’s world beautifully. Things I will not spoil for you.
In del Toro’s movies it is never a surprise that the monster of the movie isn’t really the monster, and that is true here as well. What is surprise is how easy it is to empathize with Doug Jones’ fish-man. The character is beautifully brought to life and somehow feels completely normal in the strange world that is being shown on the screen. Sally Hawkins somehow makes her love of this ‘being’ believable. The rest of the cast is fantastic as well, but with the likes of Michael Shannon, Octavia Spencer, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Richard Jenkins that is hardly a surprise.
While the story and the acting are fantastic, half of the reason to see a del Toro movie is because he will always show you something incredible. He has a unique visual flair, and he keeps finding new wonderful things to show us. He also loves to use extremes. There are no half measures, while the movie is sweet and tender, the violence is graphic and harsh. The Shape of Water is rated ‘R’ for a reason. All the reasons.
The Shape of Water is a delightfully strange tale, and it is a perfect film for a weirdo like me. It will take more than a little graphic violence and some nudity to keep me from succumbing to The Shape of Water’s charms. Apparently I am not the only one because The Shape of Water earned Guillermo del Toro his first Golden Globe for directing. An award that was well deserved.
Jumanji Welcomed Shmee To The Jungle!
It has been over twenty years since the original Jumanji came out, and if you are studio executive it has been killing you that such a successful movie didn’t get a sequel. That changes now! Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is out in theaters! Despite the fact this movie was obviously concocted in a boardroom, it is pretty good. It is not great by any stretch of the imagination, but much better than it probably should have been.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle takes place some time after the original, and the cursed board game has changed itself in to a video game because it figures out that kids like video games better. Enter the standard squad of teenagers: The Jock, The Nerd, The Hot Girl, and Smart Girl. They all get detention for various reason, and then instead of doing the work they were told to do, they play a video game, Jumanji. Of course they all get sucked up inside it, and then hilarious body swapping action packed hijinks ensue.
It is clear this script was not written by Shakespeare, but it gets the job done. It even makes sense. Which is kind of a minor miracle. The only problem I had with it is the strangely high number of penis jokes. While at least one was a given since there is a teenage girl trapped in Jack Black’s body, it seemed like it was the go to joke if there was ever a lull. Also, the joke that the girl character wouldn’t be wearing enough clothing in the jungle because she is based off 90’s Lara Croft is funny, but then it seems to undermine itself by gawking at her anyway.
The casting has executive hit list all over it. You need Dwayne Johnson because he guarantees a $50 Million opening weekend. Hopefully Kevin Hart will bring in the African American crowd, and Jack Black is always good at selling jokes even if they are poorly written. Then you need a woman who is popular enough that people recognize her, but not so popular that you need to pay her a lot of money. Amy Pond Karen Gillan will do perfectly! Thankfully all these people are also very talented, and they do a good job with what they are given.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle was never going to be a classic, but if we are honest with our childhood selves, neither was the original, so this is a pretty good follow up. I am sure that we will not have to wait another twenty years for a sequel to this flick. Once it comes out to Netflix/Video Rental it is well worth watching, or if you are a Movie Pass card holder like me there are worse things in the theaters right now. In other words, Sony’s executive team got the job done.