Shmee.Me

July 22, 2015July 22, 2015

Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic II Just Got A Major Update! … Wait What?

‘Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II – The Sith Lords’ (nice short title there) turned ten on the PC this year, and it hasn’t had a major update in almost as long, but imagine my surprise when I looked in my Steam queue and there it was getting a 175 MB patch. It is a great update too. It includes widescreen support, save sync, Steam Achievements, a few bug fixes, modern controller support, and last but definitely not least mod support through Steam Workshop.

The widescreen support was a great addition since before you had to play the game in windowed mode for the game to run on a widescreen monitor, but the mod support is what really makes this update special because now to get all the unlocked content in the Restored Content Mod all you have to do is subscribe to it. It pretty much makes the unofficial patch official. Who knows maybe they will in the next update (we only have to wait ten years to find out).

If you didn’t play this game when it came out because it was a broken mess (who can blame you), there has never been a better time. Also since this game is always on sale it will probably only set you back a couple of bucks. It is great to see old games like this get fixed. I guess it is time to finish that Light Side play though I have always be meaning to get back to.

July 21, 2015July 21, 2015

A series of reviews by The Paladin

A truth of our time is that there is a lot of entertainment for us to consume. Also true is that we have only so much time to watch it all. Average shows or movies tend to slip through the cracks or fall down the TV schedule, so it’s nice to have Netflix or Amazon Prime to catch up on a TV series or Movie you meant to watch but just didn’t. Assembled below are three short reviews for some things I’ve watched recently and maybe you should too.

Ant-Man

Although Shmee has already reviewed Ant-Man, I’d like to add that Payton Reed did a fine job jumping into a difficult situation as Director. Audiences were excited for Evan Wright’s take on the Marvel Superhero Brand that we were all a little disappointed he left. Absent Wright’s direction, the film could have been slap-dash and paint-by-the-numbers, but I came away from the film really happy; having enjoyed my one hour and fifty-seven minutes (not counting the stingers at the end). Ant-Man had it problems, but I think it does something recent Marvel movies have not done – be small and deal with more ordinary people. Arguably that’s what draws us to Superheroes in the first place, the people behind the mask. Ant-Man explorers that just a little bit more and better.

Agents of Shield

Another Marvel property that I like, because it too follows the little guy (namely Agent Phil Coulson). Agents of Shield has its faults though. ABC has thankfully kept the show going, probably because someone in a meeting used the word “Synergy”. Agent Coulson and his team have changed a lot since the last season, which was slow to build and then after Captain America: Winter Soldier went sideways. Agents of Shield Season 2 builds on that last half of Season 1 and tells two stories that build into each other. A critique of Agents of Shield would be that the final story arc had a good section of the show taking place in a new-age massage parlor set that just really took me out of the show. All together though I enjoyed this season a lot and look forward to Season 3.

Ascension

Ascension was a SyFy event movie about a generational ship build during the days of Kennedy and sent off into space. All of the crew have not experienced the cultural revolution, 9-11, or any of the other events that have shaped American culture so they are a unique microcosm of society that has developed in their own way. A murder on the ship throws everything into chaos and we see the cracks that have formed in everyone’s relationships throughout the ship. Ascension then plays a slight of hand, by changing the show to something else… something not as compelling by episode two. Also there is a lot of hanky-panky. A lot of the appeal of Ascension for me was the idea of a generational ship half way to its destination and the society that has grown because of that reality. Ascension starts with that same premise, but then stops its world building to do something else. About half way through I was just watching to finish the series; which doesn’t really end with any real satisfaction since SyFy didn’t choose to turn the miniseries into a full blown series. All of the pieces seemed right for a compelling science fiction drama (beautiful sets, nice costumes, and even some compelling characters), the end rest though was just flat.

July 17, 2015July 17, 2015

Steal Some Stuff With Ant-Man!

I have to admit Ant-Man was the first Marvel movie that I was worried about. After loosing a director, and then going through massive rewrites, I thought this was going to be Marvel’s first major flop since the Incredible Hulk. Somehow though they still pulled it off. Ant-Man is an amusing addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and while I don’t think this will be anyone’s favorite Marvel movie, I do think most people will enjoy themselves.

Ant-Man is about cat burglar Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), and how he learns to be the Ant-Man from the man who used to carry the mantle for S.H.I.E.L.D, Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas). Scott is tasked with keeping Dr. Pym’s shrinking technology out of the wrong hands. In other words Hank needs Scott to steal some stuff for him.

While Ant-Man is yet another superhero origin story, this time it has the twist of being a teacher/protégé scenario. Honestly, anything they can do to mix things up a little is appreciated. Though I think the real reason for this is that Scott Lang in the comic books is the wisecracking and fun Ant-Man while Hank Pym is a mean jerk. Wisecracking and fun works well with the current Marvel movie hero mold.

Which is one of the main issues with this film. While it is more of a heist movie than a straight-up superhero versus supervillain movie, it doesn’t really try to break out of the current set of Marvel movie conventions. When watching this film there is no doubt who is responsible for it. My other issue with this flick is that this really should have been a Wasp movie, or whatever they are going to call Hope van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) when she suits up, and she will. I mean she helps train Scott for crying out loud. They try and explain/hand-wave it away, but never to any real satisfaction. Though I guess the real reason is that they wanted Ant-Man not Wasp.

Paul Rudd showed why Marvel is going after all the likable comedic actors for their films. He is instantly charming and easy to root for even though his character has a somewhat checkered past. Michael Douglas works well as the frustrated ex-superhero trying to impart his talents on his replacement. While Evangeline Lilly does a good job with her role, her character as mentioned above is kind of wasted, or at least misused.

Ant-Man isn’t going to be thought of as the greatest Marvel movie ever, but the fact it is as good as it is, is a testament to how well the Marvel movie formula works. It is an action-packed often silly adventure. If you like what Marvel has offered in the past, you will like Ant-Man. If you were never a fan or have superhero fatigue, Ant-Man will not be for you. I however, had a great time.

July 16, 2015July 16, 2015

Luc Besson Shows How To Join Twitter!

Luc Besson joined twitter and announced his new movie all at the same time. That is how it is done. The movie will be “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” which will be based off of the popular French Scf-Fi comic book “Valerian & Laureline”. This is the same comic book that “The Fifth Element” was very loosely based off of, so for all of us Fifth Element fans this exciting news. If only my first tweet would have been as awesome!

July 15, 2015July 15, 2015

What If Uwe Boll Had $200 Million?

While watching Transformers: Age of Extinction, I remembered a part of one of the many rants of infamous director Uwe Boll saying something to the effect if he made a movie with the budget of Michael Bay his would be better. That seems like a very low mark to aim for, and to Bay’s credit I think he is very smart and knows exactly what he is doing, but it made me ask the question, “What would a $200 Million Uwe Boll movie look like?” I mean what cinematic horrors would he unleash? I am going to give my best guess as to what this movie would look like.

First off, Uwe would need a video game to base his movie off of. It couldn’t be something small, with this budget he would get one of the top franchises. Halo and Call of Duty are too controlled by their publishers, and Boll has too much of a reputation for them to take the risk on him, but one publisher would relish the theatric destruction Boll would bring. That would be Take-Two/Rockstar. That’s right, I am betting Boll would make a Grand Theft Auto game.

Now part of the fun with Grand Theft Auto is it knows it is over the top, and everything is very tongue and cheek. Uwe Boll would miss all that and play it straight. His movie would follow a man as he murdered and slaughtered his way to the top. He would think he was making a new version of Scarface, but in reality it would just be stupidly violent. Now with $200 Million he could pay a script writer to write something decent, and he probably would pay someone to do it, but then he would say it was garbage and then write his own worse version. It would all be part of the process.

Since this is Uwe Boll we are talking about I am guessing he would try and ‘sex’ it up a bit. He would do that the only way he knows how: adding naked women. They would be everywhere. He would put them in like a home decorator adds in lamps. He would get an actual actress do strip down too. He was very proud of himself for saving money in BloodRayne by hiring prostitutes, but with this budget he would get real SAG actresses. I am guessing he would set a record for the amount of skin on screen in an ‘R’ rate movie.

Now all that money would finally get him the special effects budget that he has always wanted, so I am pretty sure that to prove he is better than Michael Bay he would try to beat him at his own game. This movie would be nothing but slow motion pans and explosions. He would level Detroit, or some other cheap-to-film-in US city. Everyone would be shooting at any given moment just because he could afford it.

So what I am saying is the movie would be gloriously bad. It would be a violent, incoherent mess with a bunch of naked ladies. So pretty much a Michael Bay movie, but without any of the marketability. I think Uwe Boll would fall very short of Michael Bay, and give us one of the worst movies ever made. Something that would be talked about for ages. Rockstar Games would love it.