The One Thing Star Wars: The Force Awakens Didn’t Give Me!

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens was pretty much pure wish fulfilment for me, but there was one thing that it didn’t do for me, and I both hate and love the movie for it.  Everything from here on out is a spoiler, so turn back if you haven’t seen the movie yet!

Spoilers in:

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The one thing I didn’t get to see was the original three main characters back together again.  I thought for sure I would see Luke, Leia and Han hanging out, but it didn’t happen.  What we got instead was the sendoff of one of the most beloved Star Wars characters of all time played perfectly by Harrison Ford.  Han trying to turn his son back to the Light at the end of the film was brilliant and heartbreaking.  It took a few days after watching the film to realize that I wouldn’t be able to see Han and Luke on the Falcon one last time.

I am very happy with the way the movie turned out, so I don’t wish to change anything, but not getting to see Solo rib on Skywalker again is a sobering thought.  I can only hope that Luke will at least get to see Leia, but it doesn’t look like we have any guaranties of that.

I Am Confused By Exodus: Gods And Kings!

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I am going to be upfront, I am reviewing Exodus: Gods and Kings from the point of view of a Christian that believes in the Bible’s version of the Exodus, but I am pretty sure that if I was a skeptic, I still wouldn’t have liked or understood it.  Leaving me to wonder who this movie was for.  People that kind of believe in the events of Exodus?  Maybe ones that want a Moses that isn’t sure of what God is up to?  I don’t know, and I don’t think this movie does either.

If you have ever heard the Bible story of Moses (Christian Bale) and the plagues of Egypt, you will kind of know what is going on in this movie.  I say kind of because they change up the events quite a bit, and mostly for pointless reasons.  Well, I should say that I didn’t see the point.  I would love to hear Ridley Scott’s reasoning.

Here is the deal, if they were going to change up the story so that the plagues or the Exodus were less miraculous, I could understand it.  I wouldn’t like it, but I could understand the story the writing team was trying to tell.  With Exodus: Gods and Kings, they kind of do that, but then made it so that it would still be impossible without God’s help and intervention.  If you are going to make a movie about miracles, you should just tell the Biblical version.  If not, leave God out of it.

The odd story changes aside, had the movie been interesting or gripping, I probably would have let it all slide for the sake of entertainment.  Sadly Exodus: Gods and Kings is a pretty boring flick.  They go through all the plagues pretty matter-of-fact-ly (even if incorrectly), and they never build any tension.  Plus, they turned Moses and God in to jerks, so they are hard to empathize with.  Meanwhile, the Pharaoh is a spoiled brat, so it is not like they were trying to turn the story on its head either.  They just made everyone unlikable.

I am not a huge social justice crusader, but it does stick out that none of the main characters of Gods and Kings are Jewish or Egyptian.  It feels like in the twenty-teens we could find some actors of the proper ethnicity to fill at least some of these roles.  I like Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton (Pharaoh) quite a bit, but they are odd choices for the leads in this film.

Had Exodus: Gods and Kings been good, I probably wouldn’t have been so hard on it for its crazy story and curious casting choices, but it wasn’t, so all I could think about while watching this movie is why Moses was a self-centered jerk and what all theses British people were doing in Egypt.  A big screen Exodus could have been a lot of fun, but someone forgot to tell Ridley Scott that.

Celebrate Christmas With He-Man And She-Ra!

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It seems like every show has a Christmas special, but some are more special than others, and none are more special than ‘He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special’.  I don’t mean special as in good.  No, I mean special as in that dog that keeps running in to walls or tripping over its own tail.  The He-Man & She-Ra Christmas special is a wonderful kind of nonsense.

To be fair, as a He-Man fan I can tell you that the classic show was never actually any good.  It was a collection of crazy looking characters punching each other to sell kids toys, so the Christmas special has to viewed through that lens, and even then it doesn’t make any sense.  The whole plot is that Orko accidentally kidnaps some kids from Earth, and that Horde Prime wants them dealt with before they spread Christmas cheer throughout the land, so He-Man and She-Ra do a bunch of random stuff to save the kids, which they fail at.  Leaving Skeletor to save the day.

Sorry to spoil it for you, but hey it came out in 1985, so you had 30 years to watch it.  I am sure that to a bunch of executives a toy line cartoon show airing a Christmas episode makes perfect financial sense, but for She-Ra and He-Man it ended up being even more bonkers than usual.  I am sure had I watched it as a child, I would not have questioned it one bit, but watching it for the first time as an ‘adult’, I can tell you I had a hard time keeping up with what was going one.  It wasn’t until I gave up on the story that I could enjoy it for what it was, capitalism.  Pure child centered capitalism, and it made me feel young again.

I really shouldn’t recommend ‘He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special’, but I am.  It brought me back to a time when cartoons where pure advertising and plots were optional, and I loved every minutes of them.  I had a lot of fun with this inane mini-movie, and if you grew up when I did, you may too.  Merry Christmas from Eternia everyone!

Shmee Watches A Trainwreck!

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Trainwreck has everything going for it: An in demand rising star, Amy Schumer; A top comedic director, Judd Apatow, and a producer that has overseen some major comedy hits, Barry Mendel.  So it is no surprise that this movie was a financial success.  However, the movie ended up being uneven.

Trainwreck is about Amy Townsend (Amy Schumer) who has problems committing to relationships, partially because of her parents divorce.  He father (Colin Quinn) even has her and her sister (Brie Larson) chant “monogamy isn’t realistic”.  Amy simply goes from party to party and guy to guy until she meets sports doctor Aaron Conners (Bill Hader).  Can she change her philandering ways?

The story works overall, and it is a great setup for Amy Schumer to play off of, but the problem is that Trainwreck can’t quite decided if it wants to be an over-the-top raunch-fest, or a more serious dramedy, so the pace of the film swings pretty wildly.  It either needed to be more crass, or less.  This is a common complaint these days with Judd Apatow, and I appreciate that he is trying to elevate the ‘R’ rated comedy, but he is going to have to try harder, or find different script writers.

Luckily Amy Schumer’s great performance keeps this movie watchable.  She is definitely more at home with the wild antics than the drama, but she was able to do both aplomb.  I also have to give a hand to Tilda Swinton as Amy’s boss at a magazine in her least Tilda Swinton role ever.  I didn’t even know it was her until my wife pointed it out.  The rest of the cast is made up of SNL cast members and other known comedic talent, so they all do a wonderful job.

It is a shame this movie couldn’t quite pick a gear.  The cast would have been up for it either way.  Still, as it is Trainwreck is a watchable film if you are in the mood for an ‘R’ rated flick.  I just think it could have been better.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Takes Us Back To A Galaxy Far, Far Away!

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With the letdown of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, and after years of excitement and anticipation, the bases were loaded for J.J. Abrams.  All he had to do was not strikeout, and he did better than that.  It wasn’t quite a grand-slam, but it was at least a bases clearing triple, and it is hard to be upset about that.  For all of you that don’t understand baseball, what I am saying is that Star Wars: The Force Awakens is amazingly good!

I usually give some sort of blurb about the plot of the movie with this paragraph, but this is a Star Wars film, so you should kind of know what you are in for.  If you haven’t seen a Star Wars movie yet, this is not a good place to start because a lot of Star Wars people do a lot of Star Wars stuff, and if you are like me and wanted a lot of Star Wars Stuff, you are in luck because The Force Awakens is lousy (as in, has a lot of) with it!

Which is one of the reasons this movie wasn’t quite a grand-slam, it may have had a few too many nods to the original trilogy.  The other nitpicks would be that a few of the computer animated characters looked a little off, and that some of the dialog was a little info-dumpy.  Like I said, those are all nitpicks in an otherwise great movie, and they do not ruin the experience at all.

The old cast was enchanting, and looked like they were thoroughly enjoying themselves.  Yes, even grumpy old Harrison Ford looked happy to be Han Solo again.  It was wonderful to see original gang back on screen.  The new cast was excellent as well:  J.J. really got the perfect people to fill all the roles.  I can’t wait to see them in movies for years to come.

The special effects in The Force Awakens were fantastic, and the use of practical (real) effects really helped this movie feel like one of the originals.  You can tell the difference when they build a real ship versus just having someone sit on a green box.  Unfortunately like I mentioned earlier, those practical effects and set pieces did make some of the CGI stand out more, and not in a good way.  Still, overall they did a great job.

Even if Star Wars: The Force Awakens was terrible, it still would have been one of the biggest hits of the year, but I am elated to report that it is an event movie worth watching, and a must see in theaters.  J.J and his gang revived a classic franchise for a new generation, and I can’t wait to see what happens next in my favorite galaxy far, far away!