Category: Home Video

Every now and then you make a mistake, and you let your daughter pick a movie because she thinks a purple squirrel is cute.  She tells you it will be silly.  With The Nut Job your daughter was wrong on all counts.  Well maybe the squirrel is cute, but it definitely isn’t silly.  In fact is, it isn’t anything.  It is just a collection of scenes with the run time of a feature film.  It is a waste of everyone’s time.

We live in an age now where most kids movies a parent can watch and still be at least mildly entertained, but that is not the case with The Nut Job.  It is an hour and twenty-six minutes of torture, and to cap it off, my daughter didn’t even like it that much.  It is a low budget cash in.  A job for everyone involved, but a disaster for anyone that was actually forced to watch it.

I would normally give a plot synopsis, or talk about the actors involved, but if they didn’t care about their movie, why should I?  Okay fine, but only for the sake of a complete review!  Animals in a park are hungry, so they try and steal nuts from bank robbers, and people of various fame levels voice the animals with varying degrees of blandness.

Somehow this movie got a sequel, which my daughter will not talk me in to watching.  Though to her  credit, I doubt she will be asking to watch The Nut Job again.  If you happen to flipping through Amazon Prime and your kids squeal when they see a purple squirrel, just keep flipping and pretend you didn’t hear them.  It will be better for everyone.  We need to keep our families safe from terrible movies.  Especially ones with Psy performing Gangnam Style.

Ben Affleck was in two action movies in 2016: Batman v Superman and The Accountant.  Interestingly they were both released by Warner Brothers and they both feature Affleck as a rich violent loner.  That however is where the comparisons between the two movies stop.  Instead of wearing a cape and a cowl in The Accountant, Affleck is an autistic math wiz who does taxes for very bad people, and he is also really good at killing people.

There is a lot going on in The Accountant.  In one story line we find out how Affleck’s character gets the way he is, it turns out his military dad wasn’t great at dealing with an autistic kid.  In another the Treasury Department is tracking Affleck down for his many crimes, and then in the main story Affleck is trying to find where a large corporation’s money has gone.  Only to find himself and fellow accountant Anna Kendrick targeted by the people with sticky fingers.  Turns out he is the wrong person to try and kill.

For the most part I enjoyed The Accountant.  It is an interesting story, and Affleck plays a different kind of character from what we are used to.  Though the trope of kids with special needs being good at killing is troublesome.  I will say at least The Accountant tries to treat autism respectfully, and not just as some sort of magic that makes his brain better at math and murder.  Even if that is the end result.

While the script has a few shortfalls, the cast mostly makes up for it.  It turns out that if you hire a ton of talented people and give them interesting things to do, they make a movie better.  The only person who seemed like he was coasting was J.K. Simmons, but to be fair to him, how many times has he played the chief or director of something, so he pretty much played muted J.K. Simmons.  Which again to be fair, is still pretty good.

There you have it.  The Accountant is a decent action movie based around a slightly worrisome cliché.  There are far worse movies to watch on a Friday afternoon, and it shows that Affleck is more than the sad Batman the internet has come to know and hate.  Now just make sure that your finances are in order because you wouldn’t want a visit from this accountant!

Like with all things Disney, Pete’s Dragon got a remake.  The question is, is it any good?  Sure, it is okay.  It is a fine family film, but I don’t think it will be many people’s favorite movie.  It will be something to watch before you put the kids to bed, and you will not need to pay a lot of attention to it.  If you were a major fan of the 1977 original, this movie is nothing like that one, other than the titular Pete and his Dragon.

The original movie was a musical that took place around the turn of the 20^th Century.  The new movie starts in 1977 (clever) then fast forwards to 1983.  In the original Pete’s Dragon, Elliott the Dragon got in to all sorts of mischief while he was invisible.  The new Elliott stays in the forest until an orphaned Pete (Oakes Fegley), who he has been taking care of, gets taken from him, and he has to find him.  Then Elliott gets hunted by some loggers.

At least unlike the other Disney remake’s, this movie is not a shot for shot update.  It is a new movie with a similar premise, so if you like movies with invisible dragons and Petes, the two Pete’s Dragons are just what you are looking for.  If you wanted an update to the previous film, you could be disappointed.

The acting is all what you would expect for a movie like this.  It is all a little too sappy and sweet.  Even Karl Urban as the ‘bad guy’ isn’t really that bad.  He is just trying to make ends meet, and he thinks a dragon is a great way to do that.  Which it probably would be.  If there was some way to keep a massive dragon contained.

If you need a movie to watch with your kids, and you have seen everything else, the 2016 Pete’s Dragon is a fine choice.  As is the 1977 movie.  Though neither of them, while well thought of, are going to be held up as true Disney classics any time soon.  I liked it, my kid liked it, and my wife liked it.  I just don’t think any of us loved it, but hey it is on Netflix, so that is good.