Category: Books

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No One Needs Wonder Woman More Than Warner Brothers!

So I know this came out Saturday, but I was rather busy yesterday, so I am going to talk about it today.  Is that okay?  I hope so because you really don’t have a choice.  The trailer above is very good, but Warner Bothers has a great marketing department.  The trailers for Batman V Superman and Suicide Squad were also good, but the movies themselves were lacking.  Warner Brothers needs Wonder Woman to not only be a hit financially, but critically as well.  As a mater of fact they would probably take less than stellar box office returns as long as people really liked the film, like they did with Batman Begins.  People tend to forget Batman Begins was a flop compared to its massive budget.

Warner Brothers needs to prove it can make good movies so they can keep up in the franchise arms with Disney.  Disney has the upper hand, but mostly because Warner Bros keeps bungling their releases.  Right now Warner Brothers needs a hero, and that hero is Wonder Woman.

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Why Does X-Men: Apocalypse Exist?

After watching Logan it occurred to me that I had never seen X-Men: Apocalypse, and now having watched it I am angry at Fox, Bryan Singer and Co. for not learning anything from X-Men: The Last Stand.  Now granted X-Men: Apocalypse doesn’t kill any major mutants off screen, and it isn’t anywhere near as bad as the Last Stand, but it is still overstuffed with characters, it has a plot with too much going on, and a bunch of actors that are there just to pick up their paychecks.

I would try to summarize the plot, but honestly it wouldn’t make much sense, but needless to say Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) shows up to destroy the world so that only the strong can survive.  He is like a hardcore ancient Egyptian Darwinian terrorist.  Of course I would forgive you if you didn’t figure that out from watching the movie.  He mumbles about it a little, but he never truly explains why he wants to destroy everything, I just know from the comic books and the cartoon show.

I think Apocalypse is a lot of the problem with the movie.  There is nothing really interesting about him.  He is super powerful and he wants to destroy everything.  That is all you need to know, so the writing team decided to try to add some interest by throwing in the old and tired, “Magneto your not really that bad!”, B plot.  Let me tell you, I never need to see Professor X stare at Magneto with sad puppy-dog eyes ever again.  They also threw in just about every fan requested mutant they could, but none of them are given any screen time, so they are all wasted.

You could tell Isaac gave Apocalypse everything he had, but his costume and makeup made him look like an evil Smurf, not the biggest X-Men villain of all time.  Not to mention Isaac isn’t that tall, so other characters were towering over him.  Apocalypse is supposed to be huge.  This would have been fine ten years ago, and I generally commend teams for using CG sparingly, but Apocalypse should have been a CG character.  It also didn’t help that Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence looked like they were falling asleep the whole time.  It is probably hard being in what you know is going to be a bad movie, but please don’t make it worse by phoning it in.

Luckily Bryan Singer is a better director than Brett Ratner and Gavin Hood, so X-Men: Apocalypse is better than The Last Stand and Origins Wolverine, but it is worse than the rest of the X-Men films.  X-Men was on a good streak too.  It seemed that they had learned from Ratner’s mistakes, only to fall victim to the same traps.  More is not better, and everyone should have known better.  That way X-Men: Apocalypse wouldn’t have had to exist.

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Shmee Takes One Last Ride With Logan!

After seventeen years and ten films Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine needs no introduction.  Even if you have never seen any of the X-Men movies he is instantly recognizable, so the only question you could possibly have about Jackman’s last turn as the titular Logan is, “Is it any good?”  Yes, yes it is.

If you are wondering where Logan takes place in the ever shifting X-Men timeline, I would say don’t worry about it.  Technically it takes places in 2029 or about fifty years after the events of X-Men: Apocalypse since that is the last movie in the current timeline, but both Logan and Xavier reference things that happened in the first X-Men movie which took place in 2000.  However, due to X-Men: Days of Future Past, the first movie probably didn’t happen.  In the end, the movie is based on a comic book that was supposed to be a “what-if”, so it is best to treat the movie the same way.  Logan is ‘a’ future for the X-Men films, not ‘the’ future.  Also all references to earlier films are minor, so there is no need to watch them all before watching Logan.

Polygon wrote that Logan and Legion signal a sift for superhero films because they no longer need to conform to the ‘superhero’ genre.  They are now just films with superheroes in them, and I think that is true.  Logan is very much a western with the horses swapped out for trucks and the hero’s guns swapped out for retractable claws.  It is a genre that works very well for the lone gunmen that is Wolverine.  A lone gunman being forced to care for a young child, who happens to be his clone, and an ageing man, who happens to be the world’s most powerful psychic.

It is a heavy and sad film (I cried a little), but one I am glad they made.  It lets Huge Jackman take his character out on probably the highest note possible, and if this is the last film for Sir Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier, he gives a wonderful performance too.  Which only leaves a couple of things to say, “Please don’t take your kids to Logan just because it is a comic book movie, it earns its ‘R’ rating”, and “How are they going to bring Dafne Keen’s Laura back from an improbable future to be the new Wolverine?  Because she was great!”  If you meet the age requirements to view Logan, you probably should.  It is a great movie, and easily one of the top three X-men movies.

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Disneyland Gets A Marvel Makeover This Summer!

This summer Marvel takes over Disneyland with Marvel’s Summer of Heroes!  It all starts May 27th with the opening of the Guardians of the Galaxy Mission: Breakout! ride (which used to be the Tower of Terror).  There will be all sorts of other events going on, and you will be able to hang out and take pictures with all your favorite Marvel superheroes (though mainly The Guardians of the Galaxy since their new movie is Disney’s big summer blockbuster this year).

Anyway if you don’t mind standing in line with thousands of people because summer is the worst time to go to Disneyland, and you like Marvel superheroes, it looks like you will have a good time at Disneyland this year!  To be totally honest the Shmees do want to go to Disneyland, and now I am thinking, “summer will not be too bad…”.  It will, but I am still thinking about it anyway.  Has this swayed you in to going to the land of Mouse?

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Casting Gotham City Sirens!

Well the time has come again for me to help out Hollywood and cast their movie for them.  This time I am casting Gotham City Sirens!  We are in need of a new Poison Ivy and Catwoman.  Here are my top five choices for each role!

First up Poison Ivy:

5: Emma Stone

Emma is busy earning awards right now with La La Land, so it is the perfect time to turn her attention to pulp fiction.  She has the wit and charm to make Poison Ivy her own.

4: Isla Fisher

Thanks to Wedding Crashers we know Isla can do crazy and sexy, so Poison Ivy should be prefect for her, and since she is funny, she should be able to keep up with Harley Quinn’s high-jinks.

3: Christina Hendricks

Has there ever been a more seductive red head then Christina?  Even Captain Mal succumbed to her feminine wiles.  She would be great for this role.

2: Eva Green

Sadly I have to admit that I am ranking her this high partially because her name is Green, but still she needs something to do after finishing Penny Dreadful, and she would be amazing as Ivy.

1: Rose Leslie

Thanks to Rose (another name pun!!!) we know that John Snow knows nothing, but I could see her kicking in teeth in Gotham City with the best of them, and she would be fun new face for Poison Ivy.

Now on to Catwoman:

5: Mila Kunis

We know Mila has the action stuff down, and since somehow she isn’t already a superhero/villain, we should really change that.  She would be great as Catwoman.

4: Keira Knightly

Keira has been doing too many period pieces lately!  It is time for her to stop wearing crowns and gear up to kick some butt.  She started out in action movies, and it is time for her get back in to them.

3: Anne Hathaway

I know what you are thinking, “She was already Catwoman!”  Yes but she was great at it, and she said she would love to do it again.  It would be a fun bit of continuity, and DC does love carrying over random roles.  Though usually they end up as different characters.

2: Emily Blunt

As Mugatu would say, “She is so hot right now!”  And she would bring a lot of interest to this picture.  If any person can co-lead a film at this point it is Emily.

1: Olivia Wilde

The fact that Olivia isn’t in the Marvel or DC Universes is criminal, so why not make her one of the most recognizable Batman villains of all time?  She would knock this role out of the park.

Those are my top picks for Poison Ivy and Catwoman.  I would love to hear who you would pick.  This movie is getting under way soon, so we should be getting official casting at any time.  My track record is not good, but I like my chances with these two lists.