Shmee.Me

November 21, 2014

The Paladin joins The Crew

I don’t remember signing up for the beta for Ivory Tower’s The Crew, an open-world racing game, being published by Ubisoft. I don’t do a lot of racing games, not since Mario Cart on the SNES, so I wasn’t sure what I was going to get out of the game. The Crew’s claims to fame are a world map that truncates the United States so you can drive across the highways and byways from one coast to the other in an hour instead of several days; additionally you are playing at the same time as other players who you can join up with to complete the missions.

The game is very pretty, driving through the digital United States is a lot of fun, but you’re doing 130mph everywhere so you’re not able to really take in the view. You start in Detroit, but you can drive anywhere you’d like. There are some small towns and sights that dot the landscape between the big cities, as well as hidden items you can collect to build a secret car or improve your current car. You’re guided wherever you want to go by a floating blue line that gives you enough information without being intrusive. I took the long trip to Seattle from Detroit, traveling across the Midwest and then into the hills, even unofficially racing another player as we both struggled to navigate the high speeds, logging trucks, and tight curves of the mountain passes. He eventually turned off for Salt Lake City, while I made the final push to the Emerald City. Sigh, I miss him. Along the route you pass through challenges that you can engage in to earn improvements for your car (although the challenges are locked to certain levels so the ones on the way to Seattle were closed off to me). These challenges range from Speed, Slalom, or Jump skill challenges that reward you at different levels (Bronze, Silver, and Gold… FYI, Gold is bestest).

The story missions I played offered some variety, most involving NPC racers for me to crash into and bounce off of to victory. These races happen in their own instance so you’re not in the world, tying up the streets with your illegal street racing. The story is a mix of revenge and Fast and Furious and could be interesting, although hard to say when I only played a handful of missions. Joining with other players, I think, improves your bonuses and rewards when you win. I of course wouldn’t know because I’m a lone wolf who rides alone.

Overall I enjoyed The Crew even though it’s not my preferred style of game. I’m sure someone has some actual critique driving mechanics (I chose the Nissan Z which let me drift around corners effortlessly, unlike the Dodge Charger that drifted like a bar of wet soap), but I never felt I was overly punished for not being a racer. The only other critique I might have is the depiction of the United States. The map has Seattle, with some changes like I-5 North loops back to the Alaska Way Viaduct southbound instead of traveling further northward; but it doesn’t have Spokane or Portland. Auburn is on the map for some reason, which was odd. Eastern Washington, also was also far too tree covered.

I could of course spend a long time picking the world map decisions apart, but the reality is we don’t have to power available (not to mention the privacy concerns) to truly create a map where I can park in front of my house (however awesome that would be). So, you have to cut Ivory Tower some slack there. The Crew, for me as a non-racer, was actually a lot of fun and I was bummed when the Beta ended. The racing games for me that have been the most fun are those where you do more than race, preferably crashing into my friends or shooting red turtle shells at them; The Crew looks like it hits those notes as well as the racer notes well enough to make all the gamers feel comfortable behind the wheel of their virtual car. The Crew is scheduled to release this December and you might want to see it under your Christmas Tree this year.

November 3, 2014

Who mourns for Prey 2? ThePaladin mourns.

***A transcript from the wake of Prey 2, attended by friends and close relations. Also open bar.***

Alright everyone lets settle down… close the bar, close the bar… good, get Uncle John over here. He doesn’t need to hold up the bar, its not going to fall. ((laughs)) Where’s Uncle Horace, Aunt Ursula, and Timmy? Gone home already? Be sure to recount the silverware then. ((laughs))

We all know why we’re all here… Or should I say we all know why there’s an open bar. ((laughs)) Either someone got hitched or we had to bury a body; looking at the newly joined Mrs. Sunset Overdrive married just last Tuesday you’d think it was account o’ her but then you see this pine box here.

Here lies Prey 2, a life full o’ so much potential and promise the good Lord took it from us for his own game console in the sky. Now many of you younglings didn’t know our poor “Yorick” here, off in the backwoods of Texas he was, developing in our eyes into a fine young game. Who didn’t want a Blade Runner by way of Star Wars or Guardians of the Galaxy (depending on what direction you turned at the Galactic Core) styled game?

The teaser trailer promised alien bounties just waiting for your human justice to come down on them with a righteous fury – sayeth the Lord. ((AMEN!)) But the reality was behind that shiny glimpse of otherworldy Magnum P.I. there was something missing. What the French would call a certain what-have-you. Prey 2 went from home to home, but never came together like honest folk. Somethin’ was broke and no amount of time could fix that – right Cousin Duke? ((laughs))

If there is one take away from this tragic loss, it’s that bringing a young soul like this from alpha to gold is no sure thing. You might have the right pedigree, the right backing, or the right tools, but that ain’t no thing in the grand scheme o’ life. ((Preach it, brother!)) Naw, even the best can go bad and there ain’t nothing for it.

So tip your glasses to the horizontal and pour out a bit o’ spirit for the dearly departed. Pallbearers take up your corners and Mrs. Prey lead us to its final resting place. But no tears, Prey 2 is in a better place, it’s no longer languishing in developer hell. Also the bar will reopen when we return! ((huzzah!))

To the gone but not forgotten.

October 30, 2014

The Paladin gets that Fury… Cuban Fury that is.

Mrs. The Paladin use to dance, she trained in Ballet, and even was an instructor at a local dance studio; so I have to watch or hear from the other room while I’m hiding on the bedroom a lot of dance movies (she also watches a lot of movies on or about the Holocaust but that isn’t related to dancing – sometimes). So when I saw the trailer for Cuban Fury I knew finally there was a movie for the two for use to enjoy at the same time.

You see, Cuban Fury is a romantic comedy about dancing… Salsa dancing. What’s more, it’s an intelligent romantic comedy about Salsa dancing. The quick rundown is Nick Frost plays Bruce Garrett the adult form of the “Boy with Fire in His Feet”, a teen Salsa dancing sensation who’s given up the fiery shoes for a life of “normalcy”. He’s tormented at work by Chris O’Dowd’s absolutely terrible and awful coworker Drew. He spends his time with his two mates weekly running through a list that reminds us that Bruce and company are not hip with the ladies. Until the American Rashida Jones’s Julia is hired as the new Sales Manager over Bruce and Drew. The obvious attraction to Julia only grows for Bruce when he sees her dancing Salsa. This spurs Bruce to reconnect with his old mentor, played crustily by Ian “Lovejoy” McShane, and reclaim the title of “Boy with Fire in His Feet”. Of course he has to deal with a love triangle, dance-offs, and a body that has forgotten some of the grace it once held.

The thing I love about Cuban Fury is that instead of focusing the comedy on a dancing fat guy, it instead treats Bruce like a real person, who later in life is rediscovering his passion. The reason young Bruce gave up the sequins and silk shirts was that he was badly beaten right before the Regionals, something that enforces the stereotype that boys don’t dance. Bruce then lives a normal life and is actually fairly successful in it, he’s not a loser… just lost. Ultimately the movie isn’t about him winning the girl, which he does *SPOILERS!, but it’s about him pushing through his own barriers to once again find what makes him happy.

Mrs. The Paladin and I laughed a lot through this movie at the situations, characters, and those little silly things that happening in the background or very briefly. There is some swearing and the middle finger is raised a handful of times; things to be aware of for the more discerning viewers out there. Cuban Fury earns Twenty-Four sparkly shirts out of twenty-four sparkly shirts.

October 8, 2014

The Killing killed The Paladin

Literally… I am dead.

The Mrs. Paladin and I just finished watching the four seasons of The Killing on Netflix and we both agree the first two seasons are worth watching and the latter two less so. The Killing is a Police Drama based off of the Danish show Forbrydelsen and in the first two seasons follow Seattle Police Detectives Sarah Linden and Stephen Holder as they try to solve the murder of Rosie Larsen. Their investigation leads them to question Rosie’s family, her friends, her teachers, and a City Councilman running for Seattle Mayor. Everyone is a suspect.

When I’ve tried to explain the series I’ve found it best to describe it as an hour long Police Procedural like CSI or Castle stretched out to two thirteen episode seasons. You know how the lackey detectives get sent off to question so-and-so or to check on this piece of evidence and then they come back in fifteen minutes with the next clue? In The Killing there are no lackey detectives, so we see Linden and Holder doing this less than exciting police work that would normally be covered by two minutes of exposition. I actually liked that part of it.

Seasons 3 and 4 cover two different cases and fall back more on information falling into the protagonist’s laps. The latter seasons also try to top the first season’s single murder case with more edgy or difficult murders. Missing from these seasons is the more interesting story of the family affected by the murder of their daughter and the impact on the political aspirations of an idealistic mayoral candidate. These stories helped to focus the story as much on the living as it did to highlight the impact of the dead. Seasons 3 and 4 lack this grounding and additional tension, so they fall flat.

The detectives, Linden and Holder, are hot messes themselves. Linden is exceptionally driven, yet tightly wound and barely holding on. Holder is young, angry, and haunted by his past working undercover. The show spends time exploring their many demons and building their uneasy partnership over the course of the series.

The final character (at least for the first two seasons) is the city of Seattle itself. Beautiful aerial shots of the city serve as small vignettes between transitions. It’s fun to see the city from above and see places you’ve been or know about. The show itself was filmed in Vancouver so things like City Hall or Discovery Park don’t look quite right, but its close enough. They do take the luxary of adding things to the local geography or strangely changing names of things like Deception Pass to Desolation Pass (say wha??). Its obvious they picked Seattle because of the rain and not because they’ve ever been there. The rain is torrential in some scenes and as a true Pacific Northwesterner it made me laugh every time. It rained more in the first two seasons than it ever did the rainiest year in Washington; it’s that ridiculous.

Now there was some good stuff too, otherwise why watch it right? Season 1 and 2, as I’ve said were good and the individual performances from Mireille Enos (Linden) and Joel Kinnaman (Holder) are quite good. Additionally a supporting cast including Michelle Forbes (Ensign Ro Laren), Brent Sexton (Generally cool dude), and Billy Campbell (The Rocketeer) is not to be missed. Seasons 3 and 4 have less good, but there are some interesting twists and fine acting from Peter Sarsgaard (Brainiac?) and Elias Koteas (CASEY MOTHERLOVING JONES).

Ultimately the show fizzled out and the wife and I were simply reluctantly watching to get it over with; although my wife was rewarded in the end while I was left a little dead inside.

September 3, 2014September 3, 2014

The Paladin’s PAX Wrap-up

Like Shmee and Daniel, I too have returned from PAX Prime 2014 and lived to tell the tell. You can read their excellent wrap-ups here and here. My own experience was a little more wandering this year and like Shmee, I found the Expo Hall feeling a little less inviting than in years past. In fact it wasn’t until Sunday that I even saw the smaller hall where Arena.net, Sega, and The Behemoth were setup. Throughout the expo hall the crowds were heavy, the lines long, the atmosphere a confusing mix of sights and sounds, and the ever present pressure of the crowd giving you little time to take it all in. The exception was the 6^th floor where more indie games could be found, the booths were less flashy, and the crowds were manageable – additionally the games were often unique and innovative beyond the AAA franchises and sequels of the main hall.

The diamond in the rough here was Fortified!, a pulpy ’50 Science Fiction co-op shooter/defense game that had a fantastic art direction and vibe in addition to enjoyable gameplay that ramped up in difficulty so smoothly you hardly noticed the fly saucer destroying your base atop all the other madness.

Also on the 6^th floor I found something for my Christmas list, the ergonomic pillow from Glomtom. I just walked up to the booth, sat down, they told me to relax and just play after setting the pillow on my lap. Now I don’t power game like I use to, but this pillow made even the ten minutes I played Diablo III very comfortable. Plus the built in storage would be a great place for me to hide my controller from grubby children fingers.

Three exceptions to the otherwise avoidable Expo Hall were Massive Chalice, Screen Cheat, and Dreadnought. Shmee is a big fan of the studio Double Fine, so he made sure he played Massive Chalice on the show floor. I’m glad I tagged along because the game has great potential. It’s a turn based strategy game like XCOM, but then you can retire your heroes, marry them to another hero, and wait nine months for their combined genetics to make your next fighter. It’s a cool concept. Screen Cheat was in the indie booths on the main floor and brought me back to the good old days of multiplayer when you sat right next to your opponent and cheated by looking at their screen like the good Lord intended. Screen Cheat adds the wrinkle that your opponents are invisible on your screen so you have to look at their screens to know where they actually are in the world so you can hunt them down – again as the good Lord intended. The last one I didn’t actually get to play, but that was Dreadnought a multiplayer game where instead of fleet soldiers or maneuverable star fighters you command ungainly capital ships. The line grew for this game each day, so it obviously captured a lot of people’s attention (or they had good swag?).

Finally, if you are going to play one card-based action-adventure RPG make sure it’s Thornwatch. Developed by Penny Arcade’s very own Mike Krahulik you and your fellows play members of the Thornwatch deep in the Eyrewood, a vast magical forest. People call forth the Thornwatch by tying specific knots to birch trees asking for aid or protection. I was able to playtest the game on Saturday and found the experience to be super fun. The way the cards are designed it really plays into teamwork or synergy as the game calls it, meaning you’re part of the action the whole round not just your turn. The artwork and theme are fabulous as well. There’s no firm date on what it will reach the masses but you too can sign up for chances to play or stay up-to-date on the website.

Of course with a show like this there is so much to actually talk about that this post could go on forever. Instead I’ll just give you the list of honorable mentions in no particular order with links you can explore yourself: Pathfinder, Fortnite, the Valiant RPG, XCOM: The Board Game, Fantasia: Music Evolved, Slap .45, Shadow of Morder, Shadowrealm, World of Planes, Towerfall, Hero Forge, and Evolution.